Yesterday, I sat and would start to write and then proceed to delete what I had written. I did this many times...I am struggling with a lot of things right now. I am feeling like an utter and complete failure. I know it will get better and I imagine some of this will be easier later today.

Yesterday, I got on facebook and deactivated my account...and then realized last night I needed some of my messages that had phone numbers so I reactivated my account. I imagine at some point I will just deactivate all together and be done.

I am realizing who my friends are. I know we all get busy. I am not always the best friend to others but I do try. I realize that where I am at in my life and with doing foster care others may not fully understand how to support me...but I need support. It can be very lonely because there are some limits on what I can talk about.

I don't really know where I am going with this...I guess all I can ask is for support if you can and some prayers. I am trusting in God to get me through this and some days that is hard but I know in the end He will help me.