It has been a long time since I've logged on to type away on my laptop. I have had no motivation to share about things because I've been struggling and I am still struggling.

I have realized that some of my friendships have changed and I cannot rely on those friends anymore to be a listening ear...but I have realized that some people whom I have met recently are willing to listen or be a source of encouragement for me.

I have realized that I miss my dad much more than I ever thought I would. This is what I struggle with the most right now. It has been 8 months since he passed away and it isn't getting easier...it is getting harder. My dad and I were not close. He was a hard person to please and very gruff. I have extreme sadness because of things I said as a teenager and I never really was able to apologize to him. The last time I talked to my dad by video before he passed it was too hard for him so a lot was left unsaid. Even though we weren't close though, I loved him. We didn't talk every day but we never went this long without talking and I would give anything right now to be able to have a quick chat with him.

I have days where I do okay but I have many more where I just break down crying lately. With the holidays approaching, it's getting harder...I am just trying to keep my faith which to be honest, is hard to do these days.

On a happier note, we are much closer to finalizing our adoption of Baby A. I am looking forward to closing that chapter and having a few months to just be the Fryer family before we accept new placements.

One of these days I will get my motivation to write again. Thank you to all who have been of support to me these last few months. I am so very thankful to you all!!