I have taken some time off from email, Facebook and my home business over the Holidays. I needed time to regroup…I am feeling a little more ready to dive back in.
Winter break is coming to an end here. The girls go back Wednesday and Ethan goes back Thursday…I have enjoyed having them home. We've read, watched movies, baked, took a family trip and did lots of cleaning/organizing. We were asked to do respite for a day for a family but it fell through…it got the itch to dig even deeper to open our home back up for foster care placements :)
I have started the New Year with resolutions of trying to be more present in my kids life and having more patience with them, too. I feel like I have lost some really great friends since my dad died and want to reconnect with them but ultimately am at a point in my life where I am tired of things being one-sided and having to put the work in to talk with them…so I am moving on at this point. I spent last year sad that I would check-in with others and never hear from them. I have realized I need to make myself and my family a priority and can't obsess about lost friendships anymore.
Last year was hard for so many different reasons. One thing that was really hard was being judged for my parenting or apparently lack of parenting in some people's opinions. I don't always feel like the most confident parent but I love my kids and do my best…some days it's not my best but I always try to start the next day over and do better and I ALWAYS admit to them when I have made a mistake and apologize. It is not easy being a parent. I have decided that if you do not live in my home and live my life 24-7, you have no right to judge how I parent. I will make plenty of mistakes and I will own up to them but I do not need to be judged.
I am growing up and no longer a kid anymore. I am in my 30's and feeling more confident in standing up for myself and making my voice heard. If that offends anyone, I will not apologize for it because I just cannot continue to keep quiet, walk on eggshells and hope not to offend anyone.
I have lost my way with my Faith and have been praying a lot to try and find my way back. After leaving Germany and my church family there, I have not found that place where I feel like I belong again. I know the church there has changed and everyone that I was friends with there has moved on with new chapters in their lives but I wish I could find that again. I know I will.
It is a New year again. Each year seems to go by more quickly and I have many hopes and goals for this year. I am truly looking forward to 2014!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment