Lately I have been feeling so frustrated with life in general. I feel like we, more specifically me, have had so much going on that I was not really checked in at times. I suppose that's how I survived moving from Germany sooner than we were expecting, moving to Alaska until Steve found a job, Steve retiring and starting a new job, moving again and starting all over in Colorado and then getting licensed for foster care so we could finally finalize the adoption of Ethan.

Last year stunk quite frankly! It is not a year that I ever want to do again and was very hopeful that 2012 was going to be a little more mellow and less stressful. I think I was kidding myself though because it seems as we get older, life just becomes more stressful. Is it just me? I can't imagine that I am the only one who feels or has felt this way?!? Right??

I trust in God that everything will work out and be fine but that doesn't mean I don't at times doubt. I ultimately know things will work out however they are supposed to but I feel like I put so much pressure on myself to not make mistakes and be there for others that I end up so disappointed in myself and feel like a failure if I don't meet my expectations.

As I've gotten older (and I'm aware that I'm not that old :) ), I've gotten more confident in a way. I speak up when I think something is wrong where as when I was in my early 20's, I would have just said nothing. I feel like I have more "fight" in me now and some days I think it's a good thing and other days I think I need to just keep quiet until I work through my feelings before I overreact.

Forgive me if I ramble...I do that often and I get lost in thought and then just write whatever I am thinking regardless of whether it all makes sense. For me, it makes sense but others may not "get" my train of thought and thinking.