Confusion...I think that's what is setting in now. I made the decision not to go to Alaska because we don't have all of the answers with what is going on with my dad. Thursday he saw the oncologist and my parents left without answers. The fluid that was collected from his stomach does not show cancer. The surgeon did say though that he does not need all of these tests to say it is cancer. He would not have all of this going on if it wasn't. Personally, it just makes it easier to keep holding out hope that a miracle can happen and it's not as bad as they think.

This was a week full of ups and downs and at times I just want to walk away from all of it. I am ready to check out and not deal with any of it. I don't know how my mom is getting through it that's for sure. She has so much strength. I know she says prayers are helping her but I think it's so much more than that.

Anyway, so my dad has now been readmitted again and will be having surgery today to fix a bowel obstruction. Hopefully after this surgery they will finally have a clearer picture maybe? I wish someone could tell me what we are really looking at. Are we looking at days? Are we looking at weeks? Are we looking at months? I know ultimately only God knows when our time will be up in this world. I know it is truly an educated guess for the doctors.

Like I said, I am just confused. I woke up feeling like it was not going to be a good day and I am truly praying my feeling is wrong. I am hoping that it's just because of my dad being readmitted. So I again ask for prayers. I know that's what I will be doing.