I have been a tad bit MIA lately...just in a funk and not feeling very social. Yesterday was such a long day. I woke up at 4:30 am after having a dream that my entire family got together for one last family photo of all of us. I'm not sure when the last time we have had a family photo of all of us. It was probably at my sister's wedding which was almost 14 years ago. Steve and I did not get professional photos done at our wedding and ever since then, we have not all lived in Alaska ever since. That makes me quite sad really.

In the last fourteen years, there has been two marriages, eight grandchildren born, a new engagement with twins on the way and two new grandchildren too...so I guess the total is 10 grandchildren with two more on the way in the next couple of months and a new son for my parents which brings the total of children for them to seven. It saddens me to think that the next time we are all together, it will be for my dad's funeral. Any family photos now will forever be missing someone important.

I have just in general been feeling alone. I have friends that are praying for my family...some have told me and I know some are doing it silently and I appreciate it because honestly, I know that is what is helping me have more good days than bad right now. I am feeling unimportant to certain people in my life. This is not what I envisioned my life like as a grown up would be with my siblings. I know everyone gets busy but every once in awhile it would just be nice if for once they would check in with me and see how I was doing. Maybe I shouldn't be writing this but this week, I honestly don't care. I never mean to offend anyone but I am learning that I need to write it all down or say it because the other alternative with holding it all in is just not healthy to do anymore.

This post is a downer what can I say. It is just one of those weeks I guess.