Our Fruitful Blessings: Remembering some good times

I have been looking through photos to email to my mom of my dad and my kids. She is hoping to do a video with lots of photos. I haven't found many but the ones I have, I will treasure for sure. I was also going through all of my music trying to see if I had any music that she likes that could be added to the video. I have to wonder, is it strange that at the age of 32, I already know what music I want played at my funeral?? I don't know many people that think about that stuff...I mean, I don't know what I want but I do know what music I want.

After I had Emilie, I had a couple years of dealing with abnormal pap smears and there was always a fear in the back of my head that it could turn cancerous and that lead me to think about certain things like funerals. Obviously everything turned out fine and I am grateful for that. I don't necessarily like talking about death but I am finding I am doing it a lot more lately because of my dad and what he is going through right now.

I am hearing a lot more stories about people dying from colon cancer. It makes me so sad because it is totally preventable if you get the recommended screenings done. I wish my dad had...I have felt angry that he didn't but that anger won't change a thing. I have learned to let it go. It won't help him. It won't help me. It won't help anyone at this point. I am going to use it as a teachable moment for me though.

I am realizing that as the days pass by, it is just getting that much closer to my dad's passing. I don't know how anyone prepares for things like this. Can you really prepare for the passing of a loved one?